Highs and Lows

In terms of Highs and Lows of 2005, there are far less lows, than they were highs. It was a phenomenal year in terms of professional and personal success. I opened the year by hitting my goal of losing weight, though I wasn't really trying to. When I got on the scale at my job and decided to join a "weight contest" where winners would get cash at the end, I just did it for a few measly bucks but the goal was set and I was ready to go. By Summer 2006, I would be 25 pounds slimmer. By the fall I would lose a few more pounds bringing me to my current total of 32 pounds shaved off my frame. The results of this high would make summer 2006 the first time I put back on a swim suit! But I wasn't finished yet. My health took a hit as I went through a series of tests to check a problem that I thought wouldn't ever be resolved but with God's grace, eventually was. That was a serious low, because when you are dealing with something that isn't really resolved, you get a little concerned. Flashback to all the great trips I took and you'll find I traveled between Wisconsin and the Bahamas. The high has to be meeting (again), author Zane and being able to be the only poet on the Literary Cruise while selling out my book, Black Orchids. The serious literary low was going to a literary event that I didn't sell much but gained some personal success as I allowed myself to completely enjoy the trip anyway, tossing the negative notions, and gaining a lot of holistic lessons along the way. I was slapped with ugly reality when my job started to go through severe changes during summer 2006. I lost co-workers I had been working with for four years, was very disappointed to find out that my job didn't intend on reversing my part-time work status, and for the first time ever, my financial situation was tight to say the least, and and other battles with this place came in my face forcing me to show the best of Mocha Sistah under pressure. But of course, that is where God comes in. Fall 2005 would bring me leaving abruptly, not being able to close out a successful period where I mentored girls, but working on my personal goals for the rest of 2005. If most of you are on my list, you know that for years I been talking about the notion of being a self-employed artist. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR. God gave it to me on a plate. So, I had to fix a full one. After being laid off, immediately I called good girl friend/collaborator, LB, and we discussed what I wanted to do in a four hour conversation. She shared her tips (she's self employed - 3 years in the game!) and I gave her my list of top things I wanted to complete. Within one month, I would complete everything on my list. If that ain't God, I don't know what. There's also power in prayer and I did have a lot of that coming from folks who have been knowing me and supporting me through my transition. A month later from the laid off job, I was basically on the internet twenty four seven, posting my services, looking for part time jobs, and on the internet trying to get my business started. It would take 2 months to get my first client. It would take to December to get the financial picture a little brighter. Through my transition, I wasn't broke at all, and everything I needed (not wanted) was totally provided by family, friends, and God. I was able to keep my regular life but the focus was on different things. See when you are working a regular nine to five and got regular paydates, I think your mind set is so different. Like you know you have an extra check coming so you do overspend because you know another check will be in your account, well, not so for the self employed person. Checks come differently, most of them are not direct deposited and you have to budget yourself. I have mastered that quite greatly the last part of 2005 with a good financial plan for 2006. Going through my transition helped me to focus more on my faith and where I wanted to be in the next few years as a writer and entrepreneur. The highs of December were acquiring new business for 2005, taking on new roles as typesetting books, creating marketing materials, and not limiting my skills, which is opening up new avenues for me. I'm much more happier and calmer these days, not stressed like I used to be (working that other job). There's a pleasure in knowing you are creating change by working with youth, and helping people. That is what I love to do. I see the highs of 2005 elevated me to where I needed to be. I learned a lot about myself this year - like I do have a bite to me and when someone feels like they want to walk over my values and rights, then I will be a force to be reckoned with. I hit my goals and created new ones. My mini-home office is buzzing and I've gotten a fire wall set up on my computer with my anti-virus software. I'm still maintaining my weight and hope to hit the gym in early 2006 to lose a few more pounds. At the end of 2004 I said that 2005 would be my year and it was. I came full circle with a lot of things. I will say my prayer (between me and God) on Saturday the 31st and will hit the ground running on January 2nd, when I begin acquiring my new clients. No matter what will happen, I do embrace whatever the universe will bring because I know that where I'm at, is exactly where I need to be because God doesn't put you where you don't need to be. I'm okay with whatever lessons come this way and I hope that 2006 brings you all prosperity, health, and success. Be bold. Unafraid. Grab your future with your hands and go for it. Cause dreaming out loud ain't a bad thing.

Hotep,
Mocha Sistah