Highs and Lows

In terms of Highs and Lows of 2005, there are far less lows, than they were highs. It was a phenomenal year in terms of professional and personal success. I opened the year by hitting my goal of losing weight, though I wasn't really trying to. When I got on the scale at my job and decided to join a "weight contest" where winners would get cash at the end, I just did it for a few measly bucks but the goal was set and I was ready to go. By Summer 2006, I would be 25 pounds slimmer. By the fall I would lose a few more pounds bringing me to my current total of 32 pounds shaved off my frame. The results of this high would make summer 2006 the first time I put back on a swim suit! But I wasn't finished yet. My health took a hit as I went through a series of tests to check a problem that I thought wouldn't ever be resolved but with God's grace, eventually was. That was a serious low, because when you are dealing with something that isn't really resolved, you get a little concerned. Flashback to all the great trips I took and you'll find I traveled between Wisconsin and the Bahamas. The high has to be meeting (again), author Zane and being able to be the only poet on the Literary Cruise while selling out my book, Black Orchids. The serious literary low was going to a literary event that I didn't sell much but gained some personal success as I allowed myself to completely enjoy the trip anyway, tossing the negative notions, and gaining a lot of holistic lessons along the way. I was slapped with ugly reality when my job started to go through severe changes during summer 2006. I lost co-workers I had been working with for four years, was very disappointed to find out that my job didn't intend on reversing my part-time work status, and for the first time ever, my financial situation was tight to say the least, and and other battles with this place came in my face forcing me to show the best of Mocha Sistah under pressure. But of course, that is where God comes in. Fall 2005 would bring me leaving abruptly, not being able to close out a successful period where I mentored girls, but working on my personal goals for the rest of 2005. If most of you are on my list, you know that for years I been talking about the notion of being a self-employed artist. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR. God gave it to me on a plate. So, I had to fix a full one. After being laid off, immediately I called good girl friend/collaborator, LB, and we discussed what I wanted to do in a four hour conversation. She shared her tips (she's self employed - 3 years in the game!) and I gave her my list of top things I wanted to complete. Within one month, I would complete everything on my list. If that ain't God, I don't know what. There's also power in prayer and I did have a lot of that coming from folks who have been knowing me and supporting me through my transition. A month later from the laid off job, I was basically on the internet twenty four seven, posting my services, looking for part time jobs, and on the internet trying to get my business started. It would take 2 months to get my first client. It would take to December to get the financial picture a little brighter. Through my transition, I wasn't broke at all, and everything I needed (not wanted) was totally provided by family, friends, and God. I was able to keep my regular life but the focus was on different things. See when you are working a regular nine to five and got regular paydates, I think your mind set is so different. Like you know you have an extra check coming so you do overspend because you know another check will be in your account, well, not so for the self employed person. Checks come differently, most of them are not direct deposited and you have to budget yourself. I have mastered that quite greatly the last part of 2005 with a good financial plan for 2006. Going through my transition helped me to focus more on my faith and where I wanted to be in the next few years as a writer and entrepreneur. The highs of December were acquiring new business for 2005, taking on new roles as typesetting books, creating marketing materials, and not limiting my skills, which is opening up new avenues for me. I'm much more happier and calmer these days, not stressed like I used to be (working that other job). There's a pleasure in knowing you are creating change by working with youth, and helping people. That is what I love to do. I see the highs of 2005 elevated me to where I needed to be. I learned a lot about myself this year - like I do have a bite to me and when someone feels like they want to walk over my values and rights, then I will be a force to be reckoned with. I hit my goals and created new ones. My mini-home office is buzzing and I've gotten a fire wall set up on my computer with my anti-virus software. I'm still maintaining my weight and hope to hit the gym in early 2006 to lose a few more pounds. At the end of 2004 I said that 2005 would be my year and it was. I came full circle with a lot of things. I will say my prayer (between me and God) on Saturday the 31st and will hit the ground running on January 2nd, when I begin acquiring my new clients. No matter what will happen, I do embrace whatever the universe will bring because I know that where I'm at, is exactly where I need to be because God doesn't put you where you don't need to be. I'm okay with whatever lessons come this way and I hope that 2006 brings you all prosperity, health, and success. Be bold. Unafraid. Grab your future with your hands and go for it. Cause dreaming out loud ain't a bad thing.

Hotep,
Mocha Sistah

Reflections

Today I had the chance to do a little volunteering at the Zoo of all places. Got a chance to slow down and enjoy the natural elements, a little chilled wind to my face, and all the holiday lights, meeting families and little ones, helping them with their little decorations at the craft table I worked. It was nice. It's just nice helping out folks. I think a lot of single women during the holiday season simply are overwhelmed, or beating themselves up for what they didn't do during the year, especially if they are in my age bracket. Women in the mid-thirties, if they don't have children, sometimes might have that torturous voice echoing in their head about lack of men, or children or both. For me, I'm in the middle ground. I'm not exactly sad about not having my children yet, but I would like to build a family with someone who is a good father, and will balance me out. I'm not rushing to have a child, nor do I feel a biological clock ticking around my ovaries. I do know that when it's time for me to make that sacrifice, God will tell me. I think it's important that many of us not rush, especially if we have family members chipping in their comments. I mean, folks are gonna say what they wanna say, especially when you are a mature sister, who has never had children. The same can be said of the fellas. I think it's important to just do "you" until you are ready to make that sacrifice and I don't think it's selfish.

I think waiting on child-bearing has made me a better person, especially experiences with community programs, mentoring youth, and teaching youth. I love children! Don't get me wrong, but there's a definite sacrifice. And I want my children to be loved and in a great foundation hopefully with a balanced home with a man that is there for the long haul. Maybe I'm a dreamer. I still am old fashioned girl who believes that can be.

Until we meet, I'll try to blog again before Sunday's new arrival of 2006! I have not even begun to reflect in my journal of the things that have transpired in the last four months. But I'll try to make up for lost time this weekend.

Be blessed,
Mocha Sistah

Music and Everything else!

"Get yo self in the grind sistah"

Hey what's up. I'm in the midst of doing several roles in my life. Newest role is being a pr girl, sort of. I'm hitting the scene by advocating for artists, sending out press kits, and booking my client for appearances. Really learning things from the ground up. So far, it's been crazy. I am getting emails from Australia, New York and other cities, networking with producers for my artist is getting me in teh groove of a whole new world. It's kind of fun and breaks the schedule up. Before all this happened, I used to be sitting at home, chilling in my pajamas, watching televison while trying to decide what I needed to do, drink some tea, or try to write a poem or two. Now it's been hard as hell to write anything but i'm not complaining. I am really doing well. It's kind of fun because whatever I do, I will be thinking about using to help other artists and myself. Though I don't fancy myself in the industry, because I'm not a "out there type of girl" as far as performing ---- I know you are probably thinking "what mocha?" But really, I doin't want to be on the stage in that way, I like reciting poetry and such, but don't want to be on the stage as an artist. I rather love the back ground stuff much better. Just this week I found a great site (I'll share at some point) that had a lot of great information for new artists. I am learning so much I think my brain is gonna bleed over kill of info! Today's poetry day on PWN. I hope to bring at least a few pieces. I didn't write much last week. Okay. Well, love ya'll but I gotta go and get ready for my day. Stay blessed!

Best of 2005 - Musing TRIPS

1) Los Angeles, CA - June 2005
2) Bahamas Cruise with Strebor Books - April 2005
3) St. Louis, MO - August 2005
4) Madison, WI - March 2005

When I was able to go to the Los Angeles Black Book Expo in June, I stayed with Zakiya, we had a ball in the hotel, the trip was not "economically" the best one, but I got a lot of rest and had a lot of fun. Maybe it was the lemon Margaritas in the hotel or the sighting of actress Lisa Raye, or maybe it was the jacuzzi in the hot blazing sun in June. Whatever it was, I want more of it. Backtrack to April's Bahamas trip with the Strebor Book Cruise (author Zane and her crew). I enjoyed the Bahamas, had an excellent roommate, author Felicia Madlock, and of course, sold out of my books on that cruise. We partied hard, and had lots of fun. It rained the first day there, but I got a lot of nice things on this trip, and came on home very happy. I was invited to the Spoken Word Expo by my good friend, Mr. Talley (www.mrtalley.com) and had a good time there. Saw some family, hung out for a few days, and I sold some CDs on that trip. I recited at Legacy, and another event hosted by Chill Da Playa, and that was a good trip too. (all my trips are good trips - smile). The beginning of 2005 I had a great opportunity to perform on the Higher Ground with Jonathan Overby and it was on the University of Wisconsin's campus in Madison, WI. I thoroughly enjoyed this. It was my family's first road trip with me. I was treated like royalty. Had an interview on the "couch" and performed along the side of other traditonal bands, guitarists, a theater troupe. I had too much fun. The way this show is set up, you are interviewed on the couch first, then you are performing in between other acts. I might be going back up there in 2006. It was sooo much fun and the crew that produces the show are excellent.

Now as far as 2006 goes, I will be blazing new trails but limited trips to incorporate the other important things in my life. A trip to Dayton, OH for the Lit fest in February is calling me. I do have other trips planned and once they get solidified I will post here. Until we meet, hope you have a great day!

- Mocha Sistah

Reflective Poetry: January 2005

This is from my archived poems from this year. Enjoy.

Run Across’d My Mind
you creep into my soul
at night when I’m napping
and on cloud ninety-nine
...you turn me on in
ways I cannot even describe
...touch me in ways I cannot
vocalize
...sneak like a thief into my soul
that’s what you do
my second rib that needs
to be fed gently
that is you
...you mold my creamy
daydreams
into fantasies as I zone on
the sweetness of thee
you rob my vacant spirit
during days when I
simply smile my way
through a painful day
of depressing issues
that slap me in the face
with red reality
...taste your passion
between ripped poems
from your soul
I yawn daily when you
run across’d my mind
making me totally blind
show me the real deal
be that one that totally
consumes me
....steal my brain cells like
they are on sale for such a
cheap price....
even though you don’t really
know all of me
it scares me
you
do
something wicked
to me
and I pause...
I don’t know
how to respond
....I know I shouldn’t be thinking
these things but
when I’m sipping on my white wine
and letting my dark red cherries melt
into my hot mouth
I can’t help but think about the fantasy
of thee
you like me for who I am.
Or is this all in my mind?
I’m dedicated to the thoughts
of you and me but like I said before
....the fantasy
may not be reality
but it’s what sometimes
gets me through
and I know this
is dangerous...
unhealthy...
but I am dedicated to know
that tasty/sticky/something
that is the
unique you.

(c) 2005 by Mocha Sistah

Anticipation

Anticipation can be something else. It makes you excited, makes your skin crawl with all types of emotions flowing through you. Especially if you want something you have been after for a long long time.

Anticipation
Your body will be
my sweet sweet temple
and I'll take every care
to lavishly lick you from head to toe
have your curling your toes
when I slowly twirl a curled
tongue near your sensitive spots
My plan is to take as much time
to make you hot
Give you all that you never got
from all those honies that you
wasted time with
Because my job for that moment
in time will be to dip you into
my exotic world
Grab on baby
Hold on tight
Cause from the moment you enter
my space
every frown will be erased from
your face
I will lather your orafices with much
delight and your passion will no
longer be delayed
We can quick flip through
Maxwell, Issac Hayes, R Kel,
Brian McKnight and Sade as just the
appetizer is being prepared
for Foreplay, just a little drizzle
of honey on your nipple as my
little snack
No longer suffering because you haven't had
a chance to see or be with me
No more anticipating because it'll be
just you and me
In my mind you have always been
with me
And in that moment it will be us
in our erotic world tasting, twisting,
turning, arms, legs, mouths opened.
Take me with your essence.
Make my body quiver.
I want to vibrate with just a syllable
of your name quaking through my soul
Anticipating this tasty love session got
me dangerously on the edge of hot
love that drips out of my mouth
when I say your name
Walk through my door,
and take me now.
I wait on mahogany silky sheets
and a warm body to hold
you tight, baby, for tonight
only tonight as we go ahead
and finally consume this thing
that has been driving us both
insane.
(c) 2005 by Mocha Sistah

current literary works

Here are a few of my current literary projects:

Joie, now mother to the precious and bubbly Imani, is committed to her marriage and enjoying motherhood when she begins to experience some health problems. As she contemplates leaving her husband she runs in to Pharell, who is now a Police Detective and who is engaged to her elusive sister friend, Siah. Although feelings have returned with the sight of him she agrees to keep the secret understanding that Siah and Issac may have issues with their past connection. To compound things, Pharell and Joie also share another secret that may blow her life apart. With fear guiding her she keeps the secret and doesn’t have to tell a soul until an event that impacts the lives of Joie, Imani, Siah and Pharell and instantly changes everyone involved.

When Rainbows Ain’t Enough brings together a cop, a business manager, an administrative assistant struggling to be a mother and a best friend who has always been jealous of her. When Rainbows Ain’t Enough is a novel that examines the journey of a young girl who realizes that life sometimes deals you a rough hand but you will persevere if you believe in yourself and embrace love and family. Sometimes in the end, family is all you need to get buy.

Projected release date: Early 2006

Cause I Can
(first novel featuring same character from When Rainbows Ain't Enough)
A drunken weekend and new engagement? Infidelity and lies?
Her body belonged to her husband but a dark secret shared
with another has her heart crying blues.
Deceit + ego = Joie’s Drama!

Projected release date: December 2005

Black Orchids: a journey to mocha

Black Orchids: a journey to mocha, is a reflective collection of intimate poems by Chicago’s very own Mocha Sistah. This is a collection of poems that discuss love, crushes, heartbreak, insecurity, good vibes, relationships and soul spirituality. Written from a narrative raw voice, Mocha Sistah brings back the literary seasoning of Musings of a Mocha Sistah with much more mature and open voice. From the uplifting, "My Evolution" to the romantic "Kissing You" she keeps the emotions going and growing in each poem. She lets flow out of her mind compelling questions and challenges her reader to take the journey to mocha. Black Orchids is an ever-evolving path to a young woman on the quest to her soul’s destiny by living and loving life.

Now Available at www.iuniverse.com
Book Price: $9.95
Published: March 2005

Also available, Exotica II
on www.lulu.com/mochasistah
for $4.85 per chapbook