Hair Chronicle, Part II

Not sure if this post, two or three. My hair is doin its own thing. I have great locking in the crown section of my hair, and the left side is still too dayum curly, but I've been told I must "leave" it alone and let it do its thing. I'm going back to my stylist, Shavon, on Wednesday and we'll discuss somethings like shampooing and other techniques. See the latest photos above. That by the way is my "editor" look. By the way, my hair on one side is very curly at the ends, that's frustrating for me. But one I am happy with the back so to speak. What am I using on my hair now? Amen hair oil from Carol's Daughter (www.carolsdaughter.com) and some lock gel, water, and some locking incense hair spray. I pretty much try to leave it alone, but moisturize it every other day. It looks and feels soft. I'm pretty content with it. Though one of the guys that says he likes me has a problem with my hair, that's a whole 'nother conversation. Let's say, Mocha wasn't impressed with his response. I am who I am. Take it or leave it. But anyway....

Have a blessed Sunday and we'll talk soon. Mocha must get back to her book work, and act as if there's nothing but books to do. right? WRONG. I'll be relaxing some of this day as well. I might bake some cookies, or cook some real food today..say what? Yes, I can get down that like.

Chat with you laters.

~ Mocha

Get the Funk Outta Here

There's nothing more irritating than trying to edit or format a book and while you are in the middle of the process, the author gets a grand idea to add material to the book. Oops, but you got an editor who's been fine-tuning your manuscript. They are in the middle of doing technicalities like making sure the text looks uniform, and then bang, you want them to add something, don't give good insertion directions, and the editor is up to the crack of dawn with glasses pushed up on the face trying to scan a document, trying to find the space where the text needs to be added. Or better yet, you have images in the book that need to be modified. Or worse off, the dreaded table from Excel is inserted. It looks great as an 8 x 11 document but if it is going to publication as a 5.5 x 8.5 that is a different space on the page and can be soo irritating.

I know this personally. I'm currently formatting books and it's been pleasure and hell. I'm in emails all day (when I do work) trying to catch all types of little things like prices of the boook, is it right on the cover? If not, I need to request another cover. Asking authors to please get their copyrights, especially for images in the book. The last thing you want to do is get sued by someone because you did not get authorization to publish the image (get the approval, don't assume). I'm happy though.

A few of my literary babies (my name ain't on 'em) but they will be birthing in April. I did have one author give me kudos in their book (and they don't even know me, never met me) but they appreciate the hard work. Some nights I am up til 2 am, trying to block books as we call it.

I'm learning a lot of stuff that I will be using with Osbey Books come Summer 2006. I"m excited to bring some spanking new voices to the literary world. I have Liquid Kisses and No Candles coming out soon.

I'm the editor on two school publications. So, folks do trust me to do the damn thing. I'm blessed. Til later, I got books to format. See ya in the book stores soon. And if you aren't published, what are you waiting for?

~ Mocha Sistah

Value of Nothing and Everything

While in my youth group on Monday, Khari, one of my IT students said, "you rich miss pam"..cause I was talking about travelling to Atlanta and Detroit in the month of April. He said that most of us can't just up and go. Well, I said, "I can up and go because I normally plan ahead and I have no children..." I mean, I know for sure if I did have kids, I probably wouldn't travel as much. Money might be a little tighter. Plus, as a business owner, I get my money back because it's a business expense. He did have a point. Isn't it interesting that we think of ourselves (sometimes) as broke? And I have been on the grind since I first went to this lifestyle as a self-employed girl, I wasn't "rich". I was BROKE. I had my mom laughing today when I said, "I have no ego." There was at time I didn't have that much money, had to hustle to keep my phone on, and got one of those pre-paid visa cards so I could pay my bills coz my bank account was a goner... Sister was straight BROKE with no ego. Shoot. Yes, I was even in one of the lines at the Currency Exchanges to cash my unemployment check.

During my non-rich time, I asked my brother for $200 which got me through one month if you can believe that. I was eating at the Dollar Store and the lowest form of groceries (no junk food, just veggies, ramen noodles, pork and beans, turkey burgers, chicken breasts, and fish). I didn't eat no snacks, didn't go out like I normally do. Six months down the line I'm definitely got more money. I never though of my self rich but lately I have been gaining a few more pounds cause Mocha is doing well financially and I do have money stacked in the bank. I even got piles of change around my house. This is a mocha secret (my whole family has this thing we do - I think my mom started it with her big ashtray of pennies). Right now, I have three different coin holders with everything from pennies, dimes, quarters, and nickels. That's how I know I'm doing alright. Khari is right, I'm "rich" by the kids standards.

Though technically I'm still on the bus, ain't rolling in no benz. Come summer, I will be travelling quite a bit, still paying my rent, and enjoying my life. I know the value of nothing and everything. Ain't afraid to ask for help, or say I need to make a payment arrangement coz I'm gonna be late for a payment.

This morning I woke up with no DSL cause AT&T took off my DSL - yep, I had to dig into the account to get this back on. But it's a blessing, cause Mocha had prayed for jobs. Everyday I get a new client or some type of work with compensation attached to it.

So I guess, I'm doing alright. For a small changer. I say it everyday, "grace of god". Sometimes when kids see me, they imagine my life is perfect, which it ain't. But it ain't half bad either.

Starving artists gotta have their days. Today's just one of my good ones. Maybe one day I'll publish the mocha broka diaries. What I want to say is be grateful for what you have. Some folks have it worse off that you. Believe that!

Wishing you blessings,
Mocha Sistah

Musings - new growth and change

So basically this is day number five I believe. My hair is a trip and a half and has a mind of its own. It's doing it's own thing. Like I'm not even here. But anyway, I was in class yesterday and it's been interesting the comments I get about the new "do". One of my students said I looked like a Jamaican. Another student in my class at Kozminski asked if I was married to a former administrator. Hey, I got kind of excited with that question. I almost never get asked if I'm married. I told them the truth that I wasn't married. Awww~ I saw one of the students that used to be at the high schoool, he tried to rip on me saying, "she looks crazy", I just ignored that boy because he's a little kid, but it didn't really bother me. It just was funny as hell to me.

Thursday night I went to Three Brothers and a Mic poetry Anniversary (3 years), took a minute and a half to get the show started but it was nice, very packed over 20 poets represented, I recited, "Fireflies" in the Open Mic, and that was it. It was a three hour joint. Thus, on Friday when I had to get up to teach I was so tired. But I did do okay with my lessons.

Today, I plan on taking it easy (what?) no real work to be done. I'm taking myself offline for a few days so I can be "me" and relax and work on some things without being drawn in by the internet pressure. See, for me, I have to be online to update blogs, send emails, do research, update my listserve, yada yada yada. It's like so much to do, so little time, but I have five days off from the regular school teaching and I want to take advantage of it.

Anyway, take care and I'll talk with you soon.

~ With light,
Mocha Sistah

Hair Chronicles, Part I

So,yesterday I began my hair journey, yet again. The last time i trusted some one with my hair, it had horrible results, but this was different. I have thought long and hard about what I wanted to do with my hair since 2004. I went natural back in 1998 I believe, and have not had perms since 1997 so it's been a while since I have sat in a chair and given my "locks" over to someone's care. But it was nice at ten o'clock when I arrived at Shavon's place to have her start me on my new journey. It was a simple process because she combed out my natural curly hair, and washed it, then began the process of taking each strand to mold in in a locking fashion. She showed me how to use my own fingers to continue this process at home. So, after two hours of having her work her magic on my hair, she placed me under a dryer and that was it. I was a newly locked woman. Hair felt very light and basically, I went from her place to the Beauty Supply place to get some Jamaican Locking Gel, and with the instructions of working with my locks (using water), and some gel, I was instructed to come back in 2 weeks for a tightening session. Shavon stated that I had some different textures going on throughout my hair. I laughed for I knew that to be true myself.

Yesterday as I walked down the street a lot of people said my hair was "cute" and thought it was a simple twist. Because I have a fine grade of hair, it looks like curly still but that's in the in between time for my hair. After day one, I noticed that the hair is locking better in the middle portion of my hair. IN the front, its very much different, but I promised to myself that I would give this a full try and do what I'm supposed to do - as Shavon instructs to have a lot of PATIENCE because it will take more than 6 months to completely lock.

My hair looks like a bunch of curls, but I like the feel of it and I feel free. This will be the first time in my adult life that I will be wearing one style. I plan on leaving locks in for a few years. I planned to have locks by age 40 so I'm a few year's early on that. Plus, I wanted to have them before I started to have children ~ that's far away, but I do plan to keep in for a while yet.

So with this note, I bid you adieu. I'll probably post some ways that I have to maintain my locks and for those interested in locking, I'll post some websites you should check out to research for yourself. Again, locking is a personal choice and requires COMMITTMENT.

Blessings,
Mocha Sistah

With my new locks! 

Know Thyself

Like most people, I did not really know myself until life showed me a thing or two about my purpose, my soul, my spirit. I believe I was at a critical turning age of twenty-eight coming out of a relationship and having a good job downsized when I had to tap into my spirit to discover myself. During this period of my life, I struggled with my own insecurities as a woman and learned that it was ultimately up to me, to define myself, myself worth, and find my own knowledge and path. If I did not know myself, how could I relate to the world around me, and my family. So, I took time to evaluate myself by doing a few things.

KNOW BETTER, DO BETTERI began to study my life in depth, and got real with myself. Was I better as a woman, lover or friend when attitude was an issue, when my personality did not match what I felt I held deep inside? The resounding answer was no. So in order to do better, I began to invest in myself building my self-esteem by learning the value of loving me better (more on that later). I began to get real with my family, stop playing the perfectionist role, and got more assertive.

HOW DO YOU DEFINE YOURSELFWhat image you do want people to see? Where is your confidence? Take the time to embrace yourself by loving yourself first. Be positive and realistic with things in your life. My transition from the woman of twenty-eight to thirty something was so amazing as I began to take baby steps in defining myself. I began to do that by going outside of my box, you know, the box that I had drawn for myself where I would do what everyone in my life told me I should be and do. I cut my hair (1999) and became the woman I told my grandmother I would be. I freed myself by traveling the world and not being the typical single sister that stays at home, and doesn't see the world or connect with others. Not that there's something wrong with staying at home, it just is that I needed to see the world and get outside of my comfort zone. I began to define myself by challenging myself as a creative being, taking risks, and again, standing up for my rights.

FINDING YOUR SELF WORTHLoving yourself is the key to your own personal happiness. No one can give this to you but you. How you relate your value to yourself shows in the way you carry yourself, personal relationships, and interpersonal relationships. No one can give this to you. You must craft this out for yourself. Be bold. Be Brave. Unafraid to be and do "you". To live in your own skin. To go against the grain. In your heart of hearts you must have that great attitude that knows you are valued and are important.

What is your path?Where do you want to go in the next few years is up to you. The path will be littered with many beautiful flowers, some newspapers, and messed up cans of life. It will not be perfect, but if during your journey you learn a few new things, kiss a few frogs, and get a few angelic wings, why not enjoy it? Be unafraid to try new things. Get outside of your comfort zone. Find a new and exciting way to be bold. Try a new restaurant. Walk a different path. Go on a trip by yourself. Learn a new language. The list can go on and on. What I'm saying is that life is too short to live in your head all the time, so live out "loud".

Hope a few of these tips might take you to your next level. Hey Queen Writer, thanks for the inspiration for this one!

~ Mocha Sistah

Whatever

So I start my weekend sick as a dog, umm hmmmm....lots of teas, lemons, oranges and cough drops. For some reason I got well, a little landlord issue on top of that, plus my body was soo tired that I had to sit my butt in bed for two days. My "landlord" issue was out of their control, but has impacted me...it rained and there was an internal issue which impacted a few of us, unfortunately my place is right in the sight of the actual problem and with many upcoming raining days I don't see how it's gonna change. Basically the landlord must do something before long or we all be "swimming" up a river. LOL. Literally. It's not funny, but I take this all in stride. Five days later I still have a cold, a nice hole in the hallway of my front, and trying to comb through tons of student work. I taught poetry today and felt like a slave to my work, or the inspiration wasn't there, or maybe it was the cold and me still being tired. Maybe I should stop trying to be super poetry lady because I normally teach 3 different lessons, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. Today was okay. I know my first two classes were not totally there. We did alliteration, metaphoric poems and then the last class (fourth graders) did sports - but they couldn't name the sport. It was the best of the best, yet, at 11:30 am when I wrapped up my session, couldn't wait to get home so I could lay my head down. Of course, I haven't laid down since I got here. Because I'm on the computer, updating this blog! But I can breath today! And even though it hasn't been the best few days, I am doing better. It's a short week of poetry teaching due to the ISAT and I have a chance to breath, meet some clients, and work on my Booksigning stuff. I have books to go get before Saturday. Oh, my day is never done. But next week is a like a vacation, no teaching at all so hey, let's take it one day at a time. A day above ground is good any way you look at it.

I still have a few things I'm not happy about (personal issues that will iron themselves out). I know God will guide me. I just have to trust him and let him direct my path. But there's a part of me, ready still to attack like a lion. Don't you ever get tired of being nice? I mean, I think sometimes its easy for people to take other people for granted. A little appreciation goes a long way. Monday, for example, I ended up working with youth poets at a park I taught at over 2 years ago and they remembered me. They had a 15 minute writing session, and although their day was filled with many things, they came back to polish their poems, and record. I really love working with kids who get it. It's just a beautiful thing. Remember I haven't seen them since 2004 (early 2004) but they remembered me, even the park manager who said "when you coming" back to the park? That's a cool way to be appreciated it.

Don't get me wrong, but sometimes a "thank" you to someone in your life can be the push they need. You never know what someone's going through. Or just having those 2 words wash over them can be the light they need for the day. You never know! I try to even thank bus drivers, mail and other service folks. I even try to be gracious for my readers in class, my teachers, and those who have to deal with me, because everyone loves "thank you"...it's just my seed for the day. Plant and do what you will with it.

I'll talk with you soon and Blessings for a beautiful week, whatever...you do. Be real and enjoy it.

~ Mocha Sistah ~