Question of the week: PHAT or fat.
I was receiving messages this week from a guy (internet dating...again) and he asked me what the difference between fat or extra pounds was. He told me how much he weighed and I thought this "foine" man is asking me...if it's okay to talk with him because he thinks he is FAT> yes, he described himself as fat. He's in the two hundreds but I like my men, thick so that was not an issue with me. I told him my weight and he declared, "you are cute...only a few extra pds".
So I wondered, what's the difference between fat, extra pounds, or phat. I consider myself pretty hot and tempting = phat with some extra pounds. I only had 2 guys in the last year tell me they don't like women with "extra pds". It don't matter to me. I feel comfortable in my skin. I don't have a problem if a brother wants to date some other eye-candy because i'm not "cute" or "fit enough".
I feel it's more than a person's weight anyway, but I know people have there preference.
What's your two cents on this subject? As for me, I can't tell you how many foine men, have approached me...or non-"cute" guys...because of my personality and how I carry myself. I am me. I don't have low self-esteem when it comes to my body. I feel very good about myself as a woman. I don't have to "throw" myself at a man..or anything like that. I know I'm attractive, however, I am not stuck on the mirror and my down to earth personality wins them over every time....like I said, I don't care to focus on "my size". I am who I am. I'm a thick gurl. I embrace that. I like it. And so does a lot of men who I come across daily.
The flip side of the body...are deeper things like a person's substance, and other things like personality, how a person carries themselves, what their morals are...are more important that some one just cute...or foine. Cuz...they could have an ugly personality, or way about them that would leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Please leave comments in the guestbook.,..Thanks!
Mocha Sistah
18 comments:
PHAT... always.
That's the way I see it AND you.
*BlackRabbit.... cya.
Thanks Black Rabbit. that's sooo nice to know.
- cya
like this.. i agree i am PHAT dammit lol
i do admit i am carrying more weight than i should be but overall i feel like i can lose it if i work on it. and i am trying to work on thinking of myself better.. so i may have a few xtra lbs but i am true to myself.... :)
MystressLynne
aka badlynne on multiply
hey,mocha!
when you say "a few extra pounds" i automatically think of sitting in the doctor's office having them tell you how much you weigh...and then telling you how much you SHOULD weigh according to the damn chart, which nobody fits into anyway. then i think of how much i weigh now versus the size i would like to be, not necessarily in pounds but shape. sometimes i know i'm the bomb, other times i'm like, "but if i had a six-pack..."
it all depends on what my idea of sexy is on a particular day. so...i don't know if i'm tempting, but in my own personal opinion, i'm pretty hot. and i don't care who agrees or disagrees..because i can do enough damage to myself without being concerned about what other people think.
anybody who can't love you inside and out regardless of what you look like doesn't deserve the love anyway. the outside is only support for what's inside...the heart and the mind.
i don't mean to go on and on, but it's what i do.
i'll holla at'cha!
applecrush
miss anonymous....whether you are xxx amount of pounds or not...a person should love YOU no matter what. especially if they accepted you in the first place. It's all good to lose it...if you need to but don't kill ya self and be that sexy thik girl tht skinny girls hate LOL.
miss apple crush.
now last year, i must admit i was so crazy about my weight that it was hilarious. i had men in my life tell me ...honey we dont' care about that. most of 'em love thik women anyway. I rather have a guy love me (inner me) more than my outside appearance. besides if he can't hang with me on my lower days (sweat pants, tees and nappy locks...) he isn't worth it...anyway. Me, I am all about realness and love those who do the same...a good friend/person is always needed and appreciated. much love and thanks for the post!
Well, I'm big...thick...phat...call it what ya will. (And, I'm DAMN proud of it, too!!) However, it's not about how the weight wears you...it's about how YOU wear the weight.
Jaw7503 from multiply
Miss Wyld here and I just wanna say...I don't date based on any one characteristic, size, shape or color...its my attraction to D=ALL OF THE ABOVE as a WHOLE that makes me want to be with someone....as someone once said, marry someone you can have a conversation with, because eventually we all get wrinkled and gray!
@misswyldcat...well, yes, that is way tru. I agree somewhat...but we do live in a society where physicality over looks substance on most days. I'm not saying my "guy" would have to be perfect at all. just perfect for me *wink*
@james...go ahead with ya thikself...i love your confidence...ty for stopping by the musingsss
Well, Diamond is not dating at preent but if she was, she is PHAT on knowledge, inner charm, beauty, realness, and love her for what she is on the inside. Diamond knows what she needs to work on. Ok, I see in the hood of Pier 3 that most of the young men who are out there (you know) they prefer a woman who is THICK..I hear them talk...man, she is healthy..and when i took my trash out the other evening..and she is healthy too, referring to me, they think i did not know) lol Also i see the women they deal with they are thick...a person can be thin as a toothpick and the personality has no class. Forget fat, it is not in the dictionary....not when it comes to describing a woman!
Hey Diamond...sounds like the same comments I hear when I stroll down my community. Like I said for every 1 fat comment, I hear, 'she's thick' and that's a good thing. I love your PHATism's....they are all good, beauty, charm, intellect. those do count and I agree the word fat should be removed...
Mocha,
one more thing: you wouldn't even look right if you were not *healthy* like if i saw you tomorrow and you were like 2 sticks you would look SICK AND UNHEALTHY, you really would....i cannot picture you any other way..you really love yourself and that is what i saw in May,you were full of fun. Some women who are not *thick* do not love themselves..I am thinking about the back of "The Musings of a Mocha Sistah"book 'Mocha Sez' women need to love themselves regardless of size, shape, color or the amount of dough in their pocket!
i can see it now...skinny body, big head...lord...i'll pass. when i look at old pictures of me (18) i looked horrible. my arms were skinny. and my head was HUGE - lol. so, i love my womanly body...it's me. the now me. I don't care for the old person's body from the college days. no matter what i do..i'm gonna remain ME and be full of NRG!
I think MoNique reminded the world when she did the Beyonce-Crazy In Love dance routing as she hosted the BET Awards last year. I know bruthas who never thought that a "Big Girl" would be a selection choice on their favorite menu but she re-wrote the rules. What i found more appealing is that MoNique's dancers were REALLY doing the damn thing and was working it out waaaaayyy better than her. That is to say, they knew how to work what they Mama and Papa gave them. Personally, I don't mind what the size is as long as you know how to work it...in bed, on the dance floor, at a corporate function, in the shower, in bed...oops did i say bed again???
@walee, thank GOd for Monique representing for us...she's bringing to the world what we've known all along, that thik women are sexy as hell and can rock anything - i mean anything...a stiletto, a nice skirt, a great outfit...or a bed...a shower, use thik legs to do thangs that skinny girls might not...HE HE. my two cents.
well i'm PHAT! i've picked up weight but am comfortable with my womanly curves. all during high school i was a skinny stick. now i have a woman's body. i am appreciative of my body. i am also aware that my self-worth is not tied to my body image either.
@aqua...yes, your body and self-worth are two different thangs. I lost weight last year, I'm maintaining weight this year, maybe gained a few pounds since last summer, but who cares. I feel good. And bruthasss love to hold on to something. Take it light and thanks for stopping by the musings...be blessed.
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