Know Thyself

Like most people, I did not really know myself until life showed me a thing or two about my purpose, my soul, my spirit. I believe I was at a critical turning age of twenty-eight coming out of a relationship and having a good job downsized when I had to tap into my spirit to discover myself. During this period of my life, I struggled with my own insecurities as a woman and learned that it was ultimately up to me, to define myself, myself worth, and find my own knowledge and path. If I did not know myself, how could I relate to the world around me, and my family. So, I took time to evaluate myself by doing a few things.

KNOW BETTER, DO BETTERI began to study my life in depth, and got real with myself. Was I better as a woman, lover or friend when attitude was an issue, when my personality did not match what I felt I held deep inside? The resounding answer was no. So in order to do better, I began to invest in myself building my self-esteem by learning the value of loving me better (more on that later). I began to get real with my family, stop playing the perfectionist role, and got more assertive.

HOW DO YOU DEFINE YOURSELFWhat image you do want people to see? Where is your confidence? Take the time to embrace yourself by loving yourself first. Be positive and realistic with things in your life. My transition from the woman of twenty-eight to thirty something was so amazing as I began to take baby steps in defining myself. I began to do that by going outside of my box, you know, the box that I had drawn for myself where I would do what everyone in my life told me I should be and do. I cut my hair (1999) and became the woman I told my grandmother I would be. I freed myself by traveling the world and not being the typical single sister that stays at home, and doesn't see the world or connect with others. Not that there's something wrong with staying at home, it just is that I needed to see the world and get outside of my comfort zone. I began to define myself by challenging myself as a creative being, taking risks, and again, standing up for my rights.

FINDING YOUR SELF WORTHLoving yourself is the key to your own personal happiness. No one can give this to you but you. How you relate your value to yourself shows in the way you carry yourself, personal relationships, and interpersonal relationships. No one can give this to you. You must craft this out for yourself. Be bold. Be Brave. Unafraid to be and do "you". To live in your own skin. To go against the grain. In your heart of hearts you must have that great attitude that knows you are valued and are important.

What is your path?Where do you want to go in the next few years is up to you. The path will be littered with many beautiful flowers, some newspapers, and messed up cans of life. It will not be perfect, but if during your journey you learn a few new things, kiss a few frogs, and get a few angelic wings, why not enjoy it? Be unafraid to try new things. Get outside of your comfort zone. Find a new and exciting way to be bold. Try a new restaurant. Walk a different path. Go on a trip by yourself. Learn a new language. The list can go on and on. What I'm saying is that life is too short to live in your head all the time, so live out "loud".

Hope a few of these tips might take you to your next level. Hey Queen Writer, thanks for the inspiration for this one!

~ Mocha Sistah