i closed my eyes

i closed my eyes

Denial like untasted fruit
under my bitter tongue
tastes very sweet
When coupled with
the pain in my soul.
Can’t blame you.
Only blame me.
Cause I can only free me.
I know you are who you
are.
I know that you are rage
underneath all your charming
smooth shit.
Oh, yeah.
I know and I closed my eyes.
Every time you came up
with excuses.
I closed my eyes.
Play pretended that
you really did want to
be with me.
I closed my eyes.
Daydreamed of things
that could never be.
Tricked myself.
Being hustled by love’s
wicked games.
Yes, I know.
Can’t blame it all on you.
One plus one, equals two.
Tattered lies I told myself
would smack me in the face
and my heart would be tore
But it would not be only
you at fault, but me.
I know. Cause I closed
eyes, denying the truth.
Now, I have to cry, bullshit
falling from my lovely brown
eyes, at night.
While you smile, tucking in for the
night ignoring this love’s plight.
Still, I shine, and continue my
internal fight.
For I, will be alright.

(c) 2006 by Mocha Sistah